The Words of Silence

It has been quite some time, but I remember vividly the fine morning when I entered through a rather shabby looking entrance gate to a place about which I had heard a lot and thought a lot too. It was to be the place from where I would garner some knowledge that I would eventually put to use, I imagined myself to be a practicing architect and that imagination made me happy.

I was happy…

A beautiful row of blooming roses and an even more beautiful arcade behind it, greeted me with open arms. I had put in a lot of hard work in the past year to clear the required competitions to get admission in this reputed institution. I was told how good this college was and how its students have helped shape the cityscape. I was happy and excited at the prospect of doing so myself.

I was happy and excited…

And these things turned out to be just understatements when I started studying and saw the works of the seniors and my own batch mates. Then I went to the Annual convention of NASA or the National Association of Students of Architecture. The most prestigious national level event for architecture students, and it was there that I realized our real standards; we were better than the best that had come there, who were themselves the best of our nation.

I was excited, happy and proud…

Then I entered into the field of practice, the real battlefield, as a trainee under an architect and saw it overwhelmingly dominated by the people who were all from the same college as me. GCA was ruling the market and the city Lucknow. It would not be untrue to say that we were ruling the entire region. North India was being shaped by us, the budding architects of GCA.

I was happy, excited, proud and hopeful…

The scenario has not changed but my perspective has. The excitement, the pride, the hope have been replaced by fear, the fear of losing it all. I don’t know whom to put to fault, it’s not me but I know the person who will suffer; It’s me. I know the truth that was hiding from me for long, but I am still hopeful. But yes I do fear losing it all after putting in so much into it, work, money and most importantly my time; three years of my life. Now, I am hopeful, but in the corner of my heart, still afraid… I am afraid.

- The Maverick